When my husband first brought up getting separated, I was devastated. As the time neared that we would normally take an annual family vacation, I felt so lost and alone. However, instead of cancelling the vacation, I took the trip. My advice if you are ever in a similar situation – take the trip.
Leading Up to Taking the Trip
Separation, divorce, and breakups take a toll on you as a person, especially if they come up unexpectedly. Mentally, it can bring you to low places.
For me, it was a constant feeling of “I’m not good enough” that constantly rang through my head. I lost a ton of confidence in myself and was daunted at my upcoming future of being a single, part-time mom and sole owner of a home.
When that time neared for our family vacation, I was feeling sad and disappointed. Normally it was something I looked forward to every year.
In an act very different than my normal self, I decided to keep the vacation. Instead of going to my parent’s cottage where we’d normally go, I planned a short trip.
I found a cute hotel on a lake just a few hours away that was near a bunch of state parks. I shortened the trip, just in case it was too much to do on my own.
Then, I packed up and my daughter and I left for our first vacation together, all on our own. She was just over one year old at the time. I was nervous.
What I Learned
We spent our shortened vacation hiking around several state parks and playing around the hotel. I made sure to find a hotel that had things of interest to a toddler. There was an amazing swing set, toddler splash area, and a beach right on a lake.
The biggest lesson I learned on this trip was that I could do it. I could hike on trails with my daughter without major issues.
We ate dinner out together, just my daughter and me. It felt odd, but it was alright. We made it through, and I would definitely do it again. Just because I didn’t have an adult companion didn’t mean I couldn’t go out to a restaurant to enjoy the food and atmosphere.
I learned that I could handle the naptimes and bedtime alone. I could manage to feed us in a hotel room with limited space without having to do takeout or going out to eat if I didn’t want to.
What Can be Gained from Taking a Trip?
The biggest thing I think you can gain from taking a trip alone, or in my case, a trip with a toddler, is massive confidence in yourself and your abilities.
I had been feeling so down about my life and myself that I had forgotten that I, in fact, was capable. Capable of doing great things. Capable of planning and taking a successful trip on my own, with my toddler.
I gained the confidence to realize that I could tackle whatever was coming in my future. I came back from that trip, and I felt so incredibly proud of myself. A pride that I still feel today when I think about our short little trip together.
The trip was just what I needed at that time. I needed to get away – to get out into nature. To have that change in scenery. To experience it with my daughter, I knew that I could do it for the rest of our lives.
I spent a lot of time in the woods thinking about what our lives would look like from then on. It was so different than how I had planned it, but with each step I took out there on those trails, I gained clarity.
A clarity, that while the life we were going to have wasn’t going to match what I had planned or wanted, that life could still be a good life.
In that short little trip, I reframed some of my thoughts to realize that I was going to have the opportunity to show my daughter how strong a woman could be. I was going to be able to show her how to become a strong, independent woman, who could do the hard things if she had to.
That short vacation together, made me feel confident that our lives together were going to be alright. And at that time, that feeling meant everything.
So, Take the Trip
Even if you are feeling horribly low, like I was, take the trip.
The change of scenery, the time to think more clearly away from your normal environment, will help.
So much can be gained from taking a solo trip – confidence, clarity, and a sense of independence. Not to mention, the entire experience of the trip itself and the sites you get to see.
If you are nervous, start small, with just a few days away, and make sure to plan something that will work for you and your family (if you’re bringing your kids).
Get out there and take the trip. It will bring you more than you can imagine.
