Many people like to start the New Year off by setting New Year’s resolutions. I have never once felt the need to do that. Instead, I have recently started selecting a word of the year.
This was inspired by one of my favorite podcasts, Happier with Gretchen Rubin. I have been listening to that for about 3 years now, and finally the last few years I choose a word of the year.
The first year I choose “Present” in hopes of being more present and in the moment. I didn’t really do much that year to make it happen, other than trying to remind myself.
Word of the Year
The goal for the word of the year is to almost set a theme of what you want to learn, do, experience, or take action on in the upcoming year.
I like that it can be more abstract than a New Year’s Resolution in that it doesn’t have to mean doing a specific thing.
I find that having a word of the year is flexible in that it can evolve and change as the year goes on, based on circumstances.
2020 Word of the Year
My 2020 Word of the year was “Connection”.
My hope for 2020 was to strengthen my connection with a few close friends, work on my relationship with my husband, and connect with myself more.
2020 was a good year to show how possible it is for the word of the year to change based on circumstances.
Friends
Mine word of the year had been intended to include more in-person get-togethers with my friends. I had hoped to have many playdates with a friend who has a daughter the same age as my own.
Obviously, those plans did not work out. Instead, I had to pivot my mindset. Now, I have to work harder to remember to text my friends to keep up with their lives.
One of my friends and I have started sending random video Snapchats of random stuff going on during our day. Honestly, I think keeping up more often with the small items has brought us closer than our in-person monthly lunch dates might have.
Not that I don’t miss seeing her in person, because I do. But it is just easier to talk when you know more of what is going on in the day to day of their lives.
Husband Relationship
Thankfully, the pandemic did not inhibit from growing my relationship with my husband. We were able to get in quite a few in-person counseling sessions early in the year.
After the pandemic hit, our counselor was very quick to set up and start doing online counseling sessions, so we were able to keep up on our hard work.
Though the pandemic, we have been able to openly talk about and manage our emotions, even while spending more time together in the house than we normally would.
Honestly, I think in this relationship, the pandemic played in our favor. Having more time stuck in a house with one another is a true test to our relationship.
All those things that may irritate us about the other person and just the general too much togetherness really gave us an excellent opportunity to use the new skills that we learned through counseling.
Overall, I think this year forced us to improve our marriage even more than we would have over the course of a normal year.
Connecting with Myself
A major goal of 2020 was to rediscover me. After becoming a mom, I became super focused on that aspect of my life. I lost focus of everything else.
I lost myself. I didn’t feel like me anymore. I felt like mom and nothing else.
This year, I was conscious of and focusing more on my self-care. I put an effort into learning more about what brings me joy and developing my hobbies.
I re-started doing some small crafting that I enjoy – crocheting. I knitted my first blanket. I’m still working on cross-stitching a stocking for my daughter. (Hopefully, it will be done before she turns 18 – lol!)
I also started writing again. Writing is something I did a ton when I was younger, but lost touch with it as I went through college and started becoming more analytical in the work I did there.
After all, you wouldn’t think that accountants would also write, would you?
I’m so close to being done with my first novel. It has taken longer than I thought but also feels so good to have something tangible almost complete.
I took up blogging as a way to focus more on helping others. I’ve continued volunteering at the shelter to give some extra love to those kitties.
It feels so good to have rediscovered myself.
List of the Year
Another thing I tried out for the first time in 2020 was a list of the year. This too was inspired by the podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin.
For the past few years, they have been doing lists of the year, like 20 for 20, and 19 for 19. It bothered me to have a set number of items on my list for the year.
What I did instead, was write down a few things I did want to do during the year. This list isn’t necessarily about developing habits like New Year’s resolutions would be.
Mine is based mainly on experiences.
2020 List of the year
1. Quarterly massage
Didn’t get quarterly massages because of the pandemic, but I did get 2 in!
2. Try float lite
Decided not to do it because of the pandemic.
3. Try to work out 2x/week regularly
I’m actually up to 4x a week now! Almost back to my pre-baby workout schedule! It feels so good and really helps with my mental health.
4. Continue developing my hobbies
Feeling good about this one – see above!
5. Read at least 12 books
I didn’t track the number of books, but I think I read at least 12!
6. Start listening to a writing podcast
I did this and didn’t really love any of them. I decided to jump right into writing.
7. Start writing a book
Over 94,000 words into my first novel! Hoping to wrap it up soon.
8. Travel somewhere new
I didn’t do this to the extent I wanted to, but I did try a new restaurant this year, so I considered that to be my “somewhere new”. Sometimes you have to change your initial plans because of external circumstances.
9. Work on improving my marriage
Did really well with this and continue to focus on it every day.
10. Maintain my self-care
This has been hard to do with the pandemic and not being able to get as much free time from the family. It has been smaller things, like enjoying a cup of my favorite hot cocoa or lighting a good smelling candle, or taking peaceful walks outside. I consider this one a continuous work in progress because maintaining self-care should be a regular thing, so I will continue to do this going forward.
11. Try cross-country skiing
I also got to try cross-country skiing early in the year before the pandemic hit with a friend from work. We’re hoping to do it more this year. It was so much fun!
12. Do more Marie Kondo / Outer Order Inner Calm Cleaning (Links)
I’m in the process of doing Marie Kondo right now. My husband and I are currently working on the komono section. It will take longer than the 1 week that the 8-week challenge has allotted for it!
13. Set up Cha-ching checking at a credit union
This is done! I set it up mid-year (delayed due to the pandemic). If you haven’t already, I highly recommend looking for a high-interest account at a bank or credit union in your area. At my credit union, I’m earning 2% interest on my savings! Nothing like having extra cash for doing what I’d normally do during the month.
Looking Ahead: 2021 Word of the Year
My 2021 Word of the Year is going to be “Growth”.
I want to focus more on my personal growth. This includes still working on my hobbies, doing even more for my self-care, and continuing to learn more about myself and what I want to do and experience out of this life.
I also hope to grow in my writing goals. Finishing my book, learning from my “beta readers” feedback, and feeling like I got to a good spot with my first book.
I also hope to grow and develop my blog even more. My goal is to grow my reach, so I can be helping even more people. I’d also like to work towards monetization – in an attempt to at least make enough to keep the blog running and cover the expenses.
Again, this year, I’d like to focus on growing my relationships. I still feel like I could do more to connect with some of my friends and I’d like to work on that even more.
Another thought for the year is to potentially start a little garden with my daughter. She loves eating fresh vegetables during the summer months and I think she would get a real kick out of watching her vegetables grow especially tomatoes!
These are just my initial thoughts, and I’m sure that I will continue to find ways to add to this word and change it as the year goes on.
2021 Goals and Plans
Everyone has a different approach to starting off the new year. Some people like resolutions, others like words of the year, some like lists, and some like to do nothing at all.
No one will ever fit into an exact box of how they like to start thinking of their upcoming year. Do whichever approach works best for you!
Remember, your initial plans may have to change and that is okay. Just alter your initial plans and keep going.
The same goes for if you stop working on whatever you planned to. Be kind to yourself about it and pick it back up if it is something you want to do. If you tried it and didn’t like it, that is okay! No need to keep doing something you don’t enjoy.
What are some of your favorite things to do or think of when looking ahead to the New Year?
